


Please hold my hand

by Nanakoblaze



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Childhood Friends, M/M, Romance, Wolf AU, Wolf Pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 06:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21540223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanakoblaze/pseuds/Nanakoblaze
Summary: Jongwoon is one of the rare kind of wolf that can shift in human at will, He was adopted into a pack of wolves with similar ability. Siwon is a son of the alpha of his pack. Every time they shift into human, Siwon always asked to hold his hand.
Relationships: Choi Siwon/Kim Jongwoon | Yesung
Kudos: 15





	Please hold my hand

“ Hyung! Jongwoon hyung!! “ younger pup shifted into his human form and shook another pup excitedly 

“ What is it again, Siwon ! “ the black coat pup glared and growled at him in annoyance 

“ Butterfly !!! “ The boy not older than 8 years old told him with his eyes filled with joy and excitement while pointing to the creature flying around his head 

The older one sighed “ Don’t get distracted again, Siwon. Your father warned us to stay right here until he came back from hunting. I don’t want to get ripped into pieces by the alpha of our pack. “ 

The young boy gave him a sad and disappointing puppy eyes before sitting down next to him. Siwon still stayed in his human form as he laid down on the grass floor next to the wolf pup with strange raven black fur

“ hyung, can you shift to human too? “ He asked as he turned to look at Jongwoon 

He growled at the younger one again “ I hate human form and it’s not necessary. “ 

“ I just want to hold your hand...“ the boy told him, his eyes looked anywhere except Jongwoon’s eyes. Couldn’t resist this sulking trick as usual, Jongwoon sighed before shifting to a boy around 10 years old as the young one wished. Even though he still had nightmare from what human did to his parents before he was found and taken into this pack by Siwon’s parents, Jongwoon just couldn’t say no to Siwon’s request. 

The older one of the two offer his hand  
“ here ! “ Siwon quickly grab his hand and held it tightly 

“ You know the whole pack beside your parents always said I’m weird, but the weird one is their little prince who like holding hand for no reason. “ Jongwoon rested his chin on his knees as he looked at the one with bright smile next to him 

“ Only yours, hyung. “ He replied

“ That made it even weirder. If I had to be addicted with on part of human body it would be here — “ Jongwoon touched Siwon’s philtrum without warning making the boy startled a bit 

“ You got a long one too. “ the boy with pitch black hair chuckled at the reaction, Siwon enjoyed the view of his rare smile 

“ Your hand is always so cold you know. “ He said, Jongwoon huffed 

“ Don’t hold it if you are going to complai— “

“ I will always hold them to warm them up! “ The younger smiled at him before turning his gaze away to look at the butterflies instead. Jongwoon laid down on the grass with him and occasionally stole a glance at Siwon who just happily enjoy the view of butterflies. Siwon was right, Jongwoon thought, his hands as human are very warm.

“ Quick! Let’s change back! I could smell dad and the others are coming closer ! “ Siwon instantly sat up before letting go of the hand he was holding sadly. Both boys turned back to a pair of wolf pups and raced their way to welcome the alpha and other wolves from the pack that went hunting with him. 

.  
.  
.

“ What are we doing here, Siwon? Your dad will be mad that we sneaked out from the pack again! “ Jongwoon asked the wolf with dark gray coat in front of him who just stopped running 

“ I will tell him it was my idea— “

“ and it’s suppose to be my duty as an older one to stop you from doing this. “ the black male wolf growled at the younger yet bigger one who just sat in front of him, unbothered by his warning

“ relax, hyung. We are adult now, we should get out of the pack protection sometime. I promise this place is safe. “ Jongwoon scanned around the area and believed Siwon’s words even just a tiny bit. They were sitting near the lake, nothing but butterflies and small birds flying around the flowers and bushes

“ Are you here for butterflies again...? “ Jongwoon asked, Siwon shifted to human form and shrugged 

“ I’m here for the lake and that too, butterflies are beautiful. “ Tall and muscular man flashed a smile to the black wolf before changing his attention to the butterfly that just landed on his finger. 

“ You are the next one to lead our pack and you still play with butterfly like when we were pups ? Others will laugh at you. “ Jongwoon teased the human even though if he had to be honest, he liked looking at Siwon when he saw butterflies. The ways Siwon looks whenever he saw them was just so soft that almost melt his heart

“ If I have you by my side as the leaders of the pack together, there will be nothing I should care about. “ He watched the butterflies flew away from his finger and turned to the wolf 

“ Stop joking. I thought you came here for the lake, what are you waiting for ? Just get in before you father found us. “ Jongwoon changed the topic, this wasn’t the first time that Siwon mentioned about wanting to lead the pack together. The kid is crazy, the black wolf thought, the only one who can lead the pack together with the alpha wolf would only be his mate—

Jongwoon’s eyes grew bigger in realization, he watched the future alpha sinking into the lake in relaxing expression. Could it be that he wants... Jongwoon lost in thought until it was too late to notice that he was being pulled into the water by a pair of strong human arms 

“ SIWON!!! “ The wolf shifted into human by instinct and turned to glare at the culprit who still had his arms around his naked body

Siwon laughed “ I’m sorry, it’s only fun if you joined me. And it was your fault for getting space out again. “ 

Jongwoon threw the taller man a glare before splashing water into his face playfully to make Siwon’s arms finally let go of his body. Sure they used to play together and clean their body together in this lake together since they were children but as they grew up, Jongwoon also felt weird to be that close to each other especially in their human body.

“ Oh you want to play, hyung? “ Siwon smirked before both of them started the war why splashing water into each other. Aside from the sound of little birds singing and the fading sound of wind, all you could hear was the laughter between two men in the lake. Jongwoon and Siwon played until they felt a bit tired and decided to stop, panting slightly in front of each other. The awkwardness started within Jongwoon’s chest as soon as they stopped playing, his realization of Siwon’s intention earlier began to enter his mind again.

The older wolf broke the silence “ Siwon, what you have been telling me ... about leading the pack... “ Siwon still had his gentle smile on his lips, looked at him 

“ Yes. I want us together. “ He said without any hesitant in his voice 

“ Siwon, I can’t be your mate. The role of the alpha pair of the pack is to protect their members and to raise the pups together. I can’t — “ Jongwoon tried to explain 

“ The duty of making pups could also be carried by the others strong wolves like Kyuhyun and Donghae in our pack, our main duty is to protect everyone, hyung. We can always adopt abandoned pups together ! “ Siwon cupped his friend’s face desperately 

“ You are too young to decide that. “ Siwon felt upset as he heard Jongwoon’s excuse 

“ My feeling for you has always been this strong and it won’t change even years after this... Do you hate me, hyung? “ He asked, eyes begging the man close to him to give him a genuine answer 

“ I ... I don’t hate you... “ Jongwoon still looked away, not wanting to give in to his puppy eyes like he always did during their childhood 

“ I just offer you to be my mate, hyung. I’m not forcing you If you don’t feel the same way... just please don’t reject me yet... wait a bit more I can wait a bit more. “ Siwon moved and made a bit more space between their bodies and smiled at him sadly 

“ for now, can I just have permission to hold your hand again ? “ Jongwoon looked at his eyes before nodding and slowly moved his hand closer to Siwon’s 

“ they are so cold and ... small. “ He chuckled as he grabbed the older one’s hand

“ Why are you always complaining about my hand ? “ Jongwoon frowned 

“ I’m not complaining. I like this a lot, It fit perfectly in my hand and i never get tired of warming it with my hand. “ Siwon held his hand tighter as both men got out of the water and changed back to their wolves form to dry themselves by running and chasing each other under the sun.

.  
.  
.

“ ... A brown bear. 5 of us stayed to helped him when the brown bear attack us but he told us to protect the pups and move they away and after that... we found his body... “ Donghae, a wolf with light gray coat reported to Jongwoon as every wolf in the pack were gathering around the body of their alpha.

It was Jongwoon and Siwon’s turn to go out hunting today and when the sky became darker they went back only to see their pack had moved away from their usual place that were no longer like the place they used to lived, all destroyed and only blood on the ground was left behind. Following their scent, the pair was able to find the new location ... witnessed their alpha wolf’s body laid on the ground.

Some of members of the pack stayed in their wolf form and sat around their alpha to mourn for him while some had shifted to their human form and cried, there was no pup running and playing around, all of them stayed in their mother’s arms and looked at the body of their leader sadly. Jongwoon turned to the old wolf’s cold body and lowered his head to respect him, He had been strict yet kind to him since the time he and his mate had found him running away from hunters alone. He took Jongwoon in, taught him everything and treated him as if he was born part of their pack. Alpha had done so much for him and now to see him like this... 

“ Where is Siwon? “ Jongwoon remember the big wolf was with him when they found the new location of their pack 

“ Hyung. I think this news is too much for him. You should find him and comfort him now, he only listen to you. “ Donghae told him, Jongwoon nodded before following Siwon’s unique scent until he found a lonely human sitting next to a cliff, hugging his own knees while watching the full moon. Jongwoon walked slowly and quietly with his four legs until he reached the man and sat beside him. The canine turned to look at the human’s perfect face under the moonlight, Siwon looked at the black wolf without a word... just his tear rolling on his cheek. 

“ hyung... “ he wished he knew how to explain how he felt right now. The wolf understood his friend as he just leaned his body closer to the human and nuzzled against his neck as a sign that he tried to comfort him. Siwon felt overwhelmed and hugged the canine tightly, buried his face into the black fur to hide more of his tear that has threatened to fall the whole time.

“ Our pack needs you Siwon, you will be the next one to protect them. You have to be the the strongest one... “ Jongwoon told him after shifting into a young man with raven black hair and returned the hug from the taller one 

“ ... except with me, you can always ask for help you can always cry when you are with me. You protest the other, Siwon. I will protect you, always... “ Jongwoon tightened the embrace as he felt the new alpha’s sobs on his neck. Both of his hands grabbed Siwon’s once they let go of each other’s body, Jongwoon leaned in to place a light kiss over Siwon’s hand before looking up to meet his eyes 

“ I will always be by your side, Siwon. I promise. “

.  
.  
.

Jongwoon sat alone next to the fire while the other of his pack were having fun running around, playing and eating. After all, today was suppose to be a day to celebrate for their whole pack, he should be happy too, Jongwoon thought as he curled his body to sleep next to the warmness of fire. 

“ Why don’t you join them, oppa. “ a female wolf walked to sit next to him, made Jongwoon sat up to look at her. 

“ I’m tired. You should be the one celebrating, alpha. “ he told her with a hint of growling before curling his body to sleep again. The female with gray coat huffed,

“ I can almost smell the bitterness in your voice, oppa. Shouldn’t you be happy that your best friend is getting a mate today and finally be the official new alpha of our pack ? “ She asked, already knew what went inside the black wolf’s head

Notice how he stayed silent, pretending to be asleep, she continued “ to be honest with you, oppa, there’s only a wolf who seems to be more upset than you right now, my soon to be mate of course. “ Jongwoon opened his eyes as she mentioned the other male that he had been avoiding for a whole week already since the day they announced they had chosen a mate to pair up with him. Jongwoon tried to be happy, after all, he was the one who rejected Siwon a few years ago and still continued to do so, it was for the best. Siwon and the whole pack deserved someone better than him, he could always stand behind Siwon’s back all the time... watch over him, his pups, protect them with his own life... that was all he wish for... right ... ?

“ We were raised together by the previous alpha, oppa. I knew, we all knew you are in love with him, but since you have been rejecting his offer, they decided to choose me. “ She looked at the fire as she continued 

“ I don’t care if we don’t like each other enough to be mates. But if the pack gave me this duty, who am I to reject since you decided to stay quiet anyway. But please remember this, Jongwoon, oppa... “ The female wolf turned to look at the bigger wolf 

“ ... After tonight, he will be my mate. If you wanted him back later, you might have to rip me apart first. “ His eyes met her sharp and serious golden pair before she stood up and walked away from him to let the male think of what she just told told. Do I really want this? For us ? Jongwoon’s thoughts, he turned to look at the fire in front of him, imagine his friend being a proud and fearless alpha of his pack that everyone respects, his little pups running and playing around him while his mate sat there to watch over him, Jongwoon could only watch them from the far back. He could never be the closest one to Siwon again or have someone to hold his cold hand, Siwon has his own mate, someone that Jongwoon could have been if he wasn’t being stubborn and resist on hurting Siwon for all these years. He knew Siwon loves him, He knew he loves Siwon, why did he insist on hurting both of them ? 

The wolf suddenly got up and ran away, made the other wolves looked at each other with questions in their expression, except the female, she just let a small smile and wished the best for the older wolf.

“ Siwon... “ the voice of a familiar man caused the alpha wolf to get up from lying down depressingly in the cave that were prepared for the alphas to mate tonight

“ Hyung... what are you... “ not only he was surprised to see the older one here but also the fact that Jongwoon turned into human, he knew Jongwoon hate his human form except when he asked him to change 

“ I’m sorry. I was stupid. “ He kneeled next to the alpha and caressed the canine’s head gently

“ I always told you that I rejected you because I want the best for our pack but deep down inside I’m just a coward... I don’t want responsibility... I’m afraid “ the human man covered his own face with both his hand, the wolf just stayed there watching him

“ ... I just don’t want to be responsible for everyone’s life and well being. I’m scared of what if something that happened to my whole pack back then happened again and I failed to protect everyone, and you ... I... “ The wolf laid his head over Jongwoon’s lap and nuzzled against him softly 

“ Hyung, like I said before... there is nothing to be afraid of if I have you by my side. “ the wolf shifted into a human and stayed still over the smaller man’s lap

“ role of alphas is devote their whole life to protect their pack. We won’t live forever but we will do the best to make sure they are safe and growing. I was in pain when I found my father’s dead body, I was upset that I wasn’t there to help him but I understand that he didn’t regret all of this because he successfully protected us from harm before he was murdered. I would do the same— “

Jongwoon shushed him with his hand over Siwon’s mouth “ Don’t say that, I will make sure you are safe. I thought I already told you that you as an alpha will protect the pack and I will protect you. “ 

Siwon got up from his lap and sat in front of Jongwoon with a hopeful smile on his lips 

“ Then lead them with me, hyung. “ he held Jongwoon’s small hand tightly. He missed this feeling, he missed holding this tiny and cold hand of the wolf he loves, he wouldn’t want to let go of it again.

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.  
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“ Hyung! We have to leave now ! There’s not much time until more of them come ! “ Kyuhyun shouted and tried to dragged the stubborn and injured alpha to go with him but his hand was brushed away 

“ Just... go... “ He told the younger wolf, choking on his own blood

“ papa ... “ the tiny wolf with almost white fur looked at him, scared and trembling 

“ Kyu... take Melo with you, take care of her well if I ... if I don’t return... “ he told Kyuhyun, almost whisper so that his little pup won’t hear, she tried to get closer to him but Kyuhyun kept her behind him protectively 

“ baby, listen to uncle Kyu and go with him. Dads love you. “ He looked at her for the last time to remember her dearly in his heart before turning his back 

“ If I don’t go back to our new cave, You are the one in charge, kyu. Both my mate and I trust you. Take care do them. “ 

“ hyung— “

“ I have to stay and buy the pack more time to escape. There should be four to five more of them coming for us, Just go! “ the alpha told the wolf and his pup before running back into the darkness, forcing himself not to look back at them. 

The hunters have found their location again, just like what happened to his parents’ pack. Jongwoon swore since he was adopted by the previous alpha that he would protest everyone from those filthy people even if it costed his life; and he is doing that right now as the leader of his pack. He loves his pup, his pack and everyone there, but he had to make sure they were safe, and one more reason that he had to stay was because ...

“ Siwon... “ the black wolf sat down and nuzzled his nose against the bigger gray canine who was covered with blood and bullet wound and lying lifelessly on the ground. Jongwoon close his eyes in pain as he failed on trying to wake his mate up, the wolf kept kicking his lover to clean the blood and wound, wishing he could come back to him again. Those heartless people did this to his mate and he failed to protect him like he always promised since they were young pups.

“ I’m sorry, Siwon. “ He licked his mate’s face to apology to him

“ I couldn’t protect you but like the promise I made, I will always stay by your side until the end, we protect the pack together until we can’t walk anymore. “ the black wolf stood up as he heard the sound of human foot steps coming closer 

“ Just Wait for me a bit more. “ he told his mate who was lying on the ground before running toward the sound of those humans. 

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“ We... are here... “ a man covered with blood of his own and other people’s dragged his own feet toward a familiar lake tiredly with a lifeless wolf in his arms. After ripping those men into pieces, the alpha who no longer could feel pain or cared about all the bleeding wounds all over his body decided to carry his mate to their final place, Siwon’s favorite place since they were young.

“ Too bad there is... no butterflies... at night ... “ the man with black hair put his wolf down gently on the grass floor and lied down beside him. Jongwoon looked at his beloved mate as tear filled his eyes.

“ Too bad You can’t ask me to hold your hand anymore, Siwon... I want to hold your hand right now... it started to feel so cold... “ his human hand caressed the canine affectionately before turning back into his wolf form.

“ I ...know you also ... wish ... to see ... Melo grows up... well too ... “ he tried to talk to his mate as he moved closer to his body and buried his own nose into his coat to seek for the fading warm

“ don’t worry... Kyu took her... he will... be a good ... alpha... “ he said, closing his eyes as he felt his body started to feel numb and cold

“ but Siwon-ah... “ 

“ I did as I promised you... we also fulfilled... our duty ... together ... “

Maybe there were no colorful butterflies showing up at night but the stunning beauty of the fireflies has decided to come out to decorate the night as if it was a final gift for the pair of alphas as Jongwoon’s life faded away after his mate’s.

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• The End •

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii! So the idea of this au was actually originally suppose to be for my other fanfic, “ pull me closer “ but after I decided to make it an ABO with all human instead of wolves I thought I should just make this left over idea into a one-shot.  
> Enjoy and don’t forget to give feedback!


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